Okay I am gonna write this. Since tonight I have date #2, seems like a decent time. Before I start, let me just say that the voting numbers are very close on my poll. Seems the masses are split on whether I should get my braids back or not. More than just the 11 voters on here have weighed in verbally. Very down the middle on this one. Okay onto the blog at hand.
Lessons From A First Date
Now this is the first time I have been out with someone in this capacity since my split 3 years ago. There have been platonic things, not dates that could have been, awkward here we are type moments. But this is the first intentional, i am interested in you so I will ask you out, date that I have been on. So here we go. In no particular order.
Lesson #1 Having A Plan
Now guys, we are supposed to put these things together. At least the first few. I think the more you get into them the more you can plan together and things like that. But this first one is ours. Let me go ahead and tell residents of Lexington, KY. Winter after 9 o' clock is not easy to work with. After that clock strikes 9 in Lexington, the only things that are open are restaurants and bars and some coffee shops but I was really folding that into the restaurant. Things that would possibly be great options of fun things to do are all of a sudden closed or it is too cold for. But I also am not sure if a big activity is a requirement for a first date. I mean I wanted to get to know her. Obviously no movies guys. No matter how much you like John Cusack as an actor you don't want to get to know his end of the world escaping character. You want to know her. But is just going to dinner okay? Throwing darts or playing pool or something at a bar seems very much like buddy buddy activities. Sure might be fun but how much do you get to know someone from watching them throw a dart. So the lesson here? It's not easy. Be creative or be lucky. Me I think I got a little lucky. We both had early early mornings the next day. So simple was an option. And it's good to not over complicate things. I had fun getting to just talk with her. And that takes me to...
Lesson #2 Interviewing Skills
This sounds like a not great thing. Sounds formal and like it would make for a bad date. But lets be honest. Unless you have been super close friends with this person for a long time, it is probably more likely that there is a ton you don't know about them. And it's all stuff you want to know. Or at least it is stuff you should want to know in the long run. So yeah, there is a lot of question and answer. There is really very little way around it. I know it may seem like a formality, but I am pretty sure I wanted to know about her family. I want to know her likes and dislikes. So quit with trying to make smooth one liners to impress and be you and learn her.
Lesson #3 The Hoopty
Cars... points of pride for a lot of guys. Myself included. Driving a bad car is somehow a shot at our manhood. Same thing happened at my senior prom in high school. I couldn't go to the prom in my 1985 Honda Accord. That would be embarrassing. Now I had the added excuse this time of the next morning I was gonna be carting people and gear to our Frankfort campus for church. So I borrowed my mom's Trailblazer. It used to be my Trailblazer. I miss driving it. But that isn't the point. The point is that I had the added advantage of going on my date in a nice car. Here comes the kicker. Date number 2 tonight will be in my 1992 Toyota Camry. Will it explode? I hope not. Will it rattle kind of weird cause there is something wrong with it? Most assuredly. Is it a wreck inside and I desperately need to clean it out? Most definitely. But there is no real way around it. It is my car and sooner or later if we get to go on more dates, my clunker of a car was gonna be on display. So be it. Suck it up. It's just a car. Someday I will have something better and right now this is what I got so I will suck it up.
Lesson #4 Lulls in the Conversation
You don't have to fill the silence with idol nonsense but you try to avoid awkward silence. Those that are too long. I think we did a pretty good job. Conversation moved on pretty well. Learned a lot. I think there is only one instance when I drew a blank and that takes me to...
Lesson #5 People Have a Way of Making Things Weird
By this I mean people you know or who know you. Now I knew I wasn't gonna see any of my friends or family at Buddy's on a Saturday night. I was unprepared for the awkward waitress. Someone who supposedly knows my family and thereby knows me from afar. By the time she came by the table the 4th time to, as it seems, just chat, I was completely confused, a little scared I was being stalked, and utterly out of words for a little bit. I really don't know what the lesson is here. Maybe, be prepared for anything. But how in the world do you prepare for a weird girl saying she knows your mom and went swimming with her this summer and that my mom is gonna love that she saw me out on my date. Then to talk to my mom the next day and my mom have never heard this girl's name was a bit creepy. But my mom is really bad with names. But this girl made it sound like they were close pals who hung out all the time. My mom does know her but not to the extent this girl eluded to. This left me feeling awkward to say the least which is..
Lesson #6 Awkward Moments are Inevitable
Avoid them as you might and try your best to steer clear of them. They will happen. I don't care how smooth you are. How much game you got. I don't think there is anyway around at least one awkward moment. One in particular is almost completely unavoidable. I am sure there are ways but I don't know them. Shout out right here to Mary Margaret. Not only did she get to witness this awkward moment, she got to dog me about it the next day. And agrees it is unavoidable. What is this unavoidable moment? Walking your date to the door when the date is over. The only way you avoid trying to figure out what this looks like is if you go the jerk route and don't walk her to the door. Chivalry is not dead guys. Do it. But the porch on a first date is all kinds of weird. Here is why. What do you do to end the time? What do the different options mean? I'm pretty sure if she shakes your hand you aren't getting a second date. Well to throw back some dogging at Mary, hand shakes aren't awkward at all right? :) Okay so no hand shakes. How do you hug then? The wrong hug, as discussed in a much earlier blog, can send all kinds of messages between girls and guys. Do you "X-Hug", "Over Under". I have no idea really. Just don't do the "Ass Out Hug." It's weird looking and odd. Just a simple hug will suffice. I guess if you are really ballsy on a first date you will go with the Hitch tactic. Go 90 let her come the other 10. If you don't know what I am talking about, go watch Hitch with Will Smith. It's good. Oh and if you think the way to avoid things being awkward is to discuss how things are going to happen, that is false. It is actually counter intuitive. Makes things more awkward. :) Also, I am not sure on this but here is what I think. Do not enter their house without being invited. No matter how long the pause at the door. Supposedly, I was clear to come in for a little bit but it seems rude to me to come in without being invited. Respectful. So even though it was a bit strange for a minute, I would do the same later.
So anyway. I am sure there are more lessons I learned. More things I will learn. I'm glad I get to go out with her again.
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