So as some of you might remember, I had a pretty serious blog as my last entry. It was something that really marked who I was and really always sat heavy with me. I never knew it was quite that heavy until recently. Well this isnt a rebuttal or an "I'm still pissed and you are going to hear about it." type of blog. This is a continuation in the process and where I find myself now. It also has some other pretty cool pieces I am going to talk about.
But the main point is this. Jesus loves my enigmaticism. (I realize that isnt a word.) Jesus made me that way and he made me more than that. Right after I wrote that blog, He proceeded to spend the rest of the week telling me pretty vividly what he actually thought of me.
But this blog is going to stop short of my initial comments. I started writing this, had to save a draft and come back to it, and since then something more pressing has come up to talk about.
Some of you may have in the past heard me talk about my Uncle Trevor and his daughter (my cousin) Nivea. You may have heard me tell the story about her playing "Oopsie Daisy" with Alex's hamster. Or the day she rechipped my tooth with a marble and a long piece of pvc pipe.
Well despite my fun poking sometimes annoyed stories about my cousin, I loved her. She was family. And when my wife left she was ridiculously pissed off for me. Didn't express it in the greatest of ways to me in the midst of it, but I know she was hurt for me.
The last time I saw Nivea was January 07 at my Grandmothers funeral, which was also about a month after the initial break with my ex and I. It was a pretty good visit for the most part. After the funeral she came out to the bars with us and hung out and all that.
Nivea had a troubled time growing up in Atlanta and all that. Her mom passed a couple years ago, my Uncle lived here and she kind of took care of herself.
Well I found out this morning that she passed away early this morning. She was 25! I am not even sure what to think at the moment. I mean I am sad, but I didnt know her super well so I dont know how to quite put all this together.
Oh and it gets more complicated. Nivea on Friday gave birth to a baby. I dont even know if it was a boy or a girl. The father is not on the birth certifcate and is like a 19 year old kid who couldnt take care of a baby anyway. Where does this leave my new little cousin? In the hands of my Uncle who is the grandfather and only next of kin? Or in the hands of the foster system? Will the dad man up and ask for a paternity test and want to take custody? No idea.
I am not exactly sure what the cause of her death was. The doctors are doing an autopsy today I believe. They sent her home Sunday after they saw some complications after the birth, but said she was okay to go home, then this morning I get in to work and there is a phone call from my mom that she died. I dont even know.
Anyway, if you are a praying person reading this, please pray hard for my Uncle and my Mom. They are right now getting on the road from here to head to Atlanta. They are both really shook up. My mom was a mentor to Nivea. She was one of the first people Nivea would call when she needed to talk. And pray for my new little cousin. He or she is basically without a mother or father and is barely 3 days old.
That is all.
