So I have written a lot of really serious blogs over the past little while. I have had the inspiration to write something a little more light hearted today. And its completely retarded and dumb and rehashes something from an earlier blog.
So I was reading some of Perry Noble's blog today. A much wiser man than myself. It happened to be one on dudes manning up in relationships. Now many of you may remember me at some point along the way saying it was okay for a girl to ask out a guy. Many have disagreed with this statement and try to argue with me on it on numerous occasions. I want to make myself clear. I didn't say SHOULD. I merely said I think its okay.
Now Mr. Noble probably whole heartedly disagrees with me. And at the same time I whole heartedly agree with his post. It took me a second to reconcile to my own but I don't feel conflicted in saying both things. While I think there are innocent acceptable ways for a female to make her interests known, I do believe men need to man up. It is our job to "lead". It is on us to really step up. Not because society says so. Screw society. Society will have you believe a lot of stupid crap.
No people, God's word states it is the male that will lead in his household. Society would have you believe that is sexist. "Why cant the man stay home and take care of the kids while the woman goes and earns a living." Who the hell said that that has anything to do with who is really a spiritual leader in the house? I would love to have kids and get to spend all day investing in them and really leading them to Jesus. Sounds like still being a leader in my house to me. But that's not the point.
Guys, step up. If you want to scrap the leader business let just go with the chivalrous route. Please don't make chivalry a dead art form. It is alive and well and you should be able to own it. So a girl ask you to go out with them sometime. Step up and take responsibility for that date. You make plans and really make an effort to sweep her off her feet. Do not play the "she asked me so she should plan it" card. That is a deuchebags card.
Here is the honest deal. I would love to be asked out. Not cause I am a wuss and want to skip out on all the work. It would just be different. And I can guarantee you that I would take the initiative and plan and all that and not leave it on her to set up everything. Deuchebag.
And that is not a call up by any means for some girl to ask me out. That is not what I am saying at all. I am not setting this up so that some random chick reads this and ask me out. Not the case. It is just an opinion. I don't think it steals the leadership. I still think if a man is going to wuss out on leading, he was gonna do that whether the girl asked him first or not. I also don't think it steals from how loved and taken care of and valued the girl can feel. That is as the man steps up. No ladies don't go chasing him. But is it really a loss of dignity to say "hey i am interested in you and would like to get to know you"? I'll let you decide. But if you do do that and he replies with "Sure whatever. Set something up." DEUCHEBAG. Scrap the whole idea. His response should be nothing less than "I would love to. How about Friday. I would love to take you out. What do you think of FancySchmancy Restaurant. They have really good food."
I will add this. This is where my theory may run into trouble. But it is once again based on the level of guy you asked out. Say the date goes great. He was a total gentleman. Treated you like a lady. Really took the initiative on the date. Picked a great place he knew you would love. Came up with creative options and didn't take you to a crappy movie. Fantastic. It seems that he has stepped up. At the end of the night or somewhere in the process as time allows, He should still be stepping up. Don't ask him a second time. By this time the "I just didnt know" is now null and void. He knows you were at least interested for a first. Let him come after you for a second. Don't pine and all that for a second. If he still wont take the initiative this second time. Either A. He didnt enjoy the date and doesnt want a second. And in this case he better not tell you he will call you. or B. He really is a deuchebag who was hiding in sheeps clothing on the date hoping to get "something" out of the night and really is assuming you will ask him again and boost his ego.
Step back now and let him come to you.
These are not hard fast rules. I think if you are gonna choose a side that what Mr. Noble says is really the way to go. I fully believe guys should step up. I fully plan on that being my MO. I am not waiting for someone to ask me out. I will take my own cues and be a man and do what I need to do. I was never ever saying that it should be a hard rule that girls need to take the initiative. Maybe slightly bucking the trend that it was not allowable and that it goes in the face of leadership and pursuit and all that. But I completely agree that men need to be men. Yeah it kind of sucks always having the possibility of a no lingering in front of you. And its really okay. The worst she can say is no. I mean I am secure in Jesus and believe what He says is true about me. A no isnt going to tear me down. Even a "no, ew thats gross" wont tear me down. It will just sting a bit more. :)
So men, man up. Girls its still your choice. And still choose to be pursued as a first thought. You are worth the pursuit. But is it so wrong to think that pursuit can look a little different?
Now you may now have read this and wondered why I haven't manned up myself. I haven't been on any date since my divorce. Sad I know. Now I have asked and it just hasn't been right. And currently I am, for circumstances beyond my current control, not in a place to ask. I know that doesn't answer your question. But if you are believing that I am waiting for someone to ask me and writing this blog to that end, man are you wrong. I do not expect that. When the time is right I will man up and do it myself. Oh and please do not send me some pity note saying how sad I must be to not have gone on a date in 3 years. I might punch you in the face next time I see you. I'm right where I need to be growing with Jesus and don't need a date to make everything okay. Maybe you need a date. What about them apples?
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