Here we are. First blog of TWENTYTEN. I am a way different person than I was this time last year. Life looks different. The future looks different. Even the past looks different through the eyes I have now. It wasn't an easy year. Not by any stretch of the imagination. It was hard, time consuming, humbling, stretching, breaking at times, reforming, massive highs, massive lows and a damn good year on the look back.
I don't know exactly what I intended to write here. It just felt like I needed to. Even if I dont say anything of any distinct importance here, it is leading me to reflect which I needed for me. In my own mind I needed to look back for a minute. Not to reminisce or regret or remorse, but to help me look forward.
What does this year have in store for me. I'm pretty sure it will be a year marked with the same words from that first paragraph. And it will look much different.
finish.............. 1/25/10
So I started writing that post a couple weeks ago. Seemed like a good idea to write brand new into the new year. Then I realized I didnt have anything to actually say. So I put it on hold. Here is the problem now. I still don't have much of anything to say. This year thus far has been relatively gray. Not in mood or like things are bad. But meaning there is nothing spectacular to speak of. There hasn't been anything really to speak of thus far. I am actually pretty bored currently. Waiting for something to give.
Granted, my heart is still growing. I am still learning and Jesus is still doing some substantial work on me. When I say life is relatively blah. I mean circumstantially. Nice thing is that that is not much effecting my heart work. I am still feeling really light and free and on a growth edge. That in and of itself is growth cause my circumstances used to dictate how I was doing all the time.
But as things go, I am in a stand still. As I have been for a while. Life moving on around me in lots of ways. Not sure what it is waiting on with me. Like what is out of place that I am still here circumstantially. I could gripe and moan and go into all the things I wish would hurry up and change. Not gonna bother. That would be counterproductive. But what do I need to do to move forward? Hell what am I moving forward into? What do I even want to move towards? Maybe that's part of the problem. I don't think I know what I want. I definitely am not sure what Jesus wants for me.
So what do I do to get those questions answered? I'll actually take suggestions if you have real ones.
